Postpartum & matrescence · Episode 8

Matrescence: the word that changes everything about becoming a mother

Somatic psychotherapist Hannah Staunton explains matrescence, why new mothers feel on edge, how birth trauma goes unnoticed, and how to prepare for postpartum.

Born to be Wild · 2026-09-28

Listen to the episode

A car honks while you're walking with your newborn in a carrier, and you find yourself screaming at the driver, overwhelmed by a primal urge to protect your baby. Aviva Markowicz lived exactly that, six weeks after giving birth.

There's a word for this whole transformation, the rage, the identity shift, the feeling of being lost: matrescence. On episode 8 of the Born to be Wild podcast, somatic psychotherapist Hannah Staunton explained what it means and how to go through it with more compassion.

See Hannah Staunton's profile in our directory.

What is matrescence?

Think of adolescence, but for motherhood. Hannah defines matrescence as the biological, psychological, social and spiritual transition from non-mother to mother.

It doesn't happen overnight. It can take years. Hannah uses an image that speaks to many mothers:

"You're being born as a mother, and it can feel like you're stuck in the birth canal for a really long time."

Knowing the word changes a lot. Many women feel a huge relief when they realise that what they're living is a shared, biological process, and not a personal failure.

"Bouncing back" doesn't exist

Society expects mothers to go back to who they were before. For Hannah, there is no going back, only moving forward. Much of the struggle comes from being caught between two identities while resisting the change.

She also names a paradox. During pregnancy, everyone looks after the glowing pregnant woman. Once the baby is born, all the attention shifts to the baby, and the mother becomes invisible. Yet she's the one holding everything together.

Why new mothers feel on edge

Pregnancy and postpartum make the nervous system more sensitive. It makes sense biologically: everything is geared towards keeping a newborn alive.

As Hannah explains, your threat detection increases, and you become more hypervigilant.
Brain imaging research shows that pregnancy changes grey matter in areas involved in social cognition, changes linked to the bond with the baby (Hoekzema et al., 2017). Hannah sees it every day: you can't follow a conversation over coffee when your baby is nearby.
In a world that isn't built to support families, it's easy to get stuck perceiving threats that aren't real, in a state of chronic stress.

Regulation doesn't mean being calm all the time. It means being able to feel big emotions, including "mother rage", and come back to baseline. It's about growing your capacity, not suppressing what you feel.

A simple practice to start with

Hannah begins with grounding and orienting: slowly moving your eyes from one side of the room to the other, like our ancestors scanning the horizon. It's the opposite of staring at a small screen, and it helps women who feel disoriented, asking "who am I, where am I?"

Birth trauma often goes unrecognised

In Hannah's experience, mothers diagnosed with postpartum depression or anxiety are rarely asked about their birth, or about their context. Are they sleeping? Eating? Who is looking after them?

Some women don't name their experience as traumatic, because it feels like failure or would tarnish a sacred moment.
Trauma is subjective. Two women can live the same event very differently.
Even an empowering birth is a huge experience that needs time to integrate.
There's no right way to give birth. A chosen caesarean can be deeply empowering. Trauma often comes when a woman's agency is taken away, as research on women's accounts of birth trauma also shows (Reed et al., 2017).

If you feel persistently low, anxious or not like yourself, talk to a health professional. Postpartum depression and anxiety are real and treatable (NHS), and your birth story is part of the picture. In Portugal, the law also gives you the right to a postpartum consultation between 4 and 6 weeks after birth, including early detection of postpartum depression (Lei n.º 15/2014).

The hours after birth matter most

Hannah's own birth in Portugal was fairly positive in itself. What stayed in her body was what came after. Her partner had to leave an hour after the birth. She was alone in a shared room in a public hospital, with bright lights, other women on video calls at 2 a.m., and no rest. When she repeatedly asked to go home, a paediatrician shouted at her.

"Even after a traumatic birth, the right attuned care straight afterwards can change everything."

As Aviva points out in the episode, unlike many European countries, home visits from a midwife after birth aren't routine in Portugal. Many women are left alone right when they need care most.

How to prepare for postpartum

Hannah believes preparing for postpartum is even more important than preparing for birth:

Plan your early postpartum care: a postpartum doula, a midwife, or a therapist who can witness and acknowledge what you've been through. Partners and family can't always hold that, and shouldn't be expected to.
Explore your beliefs before the baby arrives. What do you really believe about birth and motherhood? Where do those beliefs come from? A common one: "I must sacrifice myself for my baby."
Hold preparation and surrender together. Prepare your body and mind, knowing you can't control where birth will go.
Ask for help. Mothers burn out when they internalise that they should do it all alone.

"It's never been a job for one person. It takes a village to raise a baby, and a mother."

Looking for support? Browse the psychologists and perinatal therapists in our directory.

Frequently asked questions

What does matrescence mean? It's the transition to motherhood: a biological, psychological, social and spiritual transformation, comparable to adolescence, that can last several years.

Is postpartum rage normal? A heightened protective response is a normal part of the postpartum nervous system. If rage or anxiety feel overwhelming or constant, seek support from a professional.

How long does postpartum last? Much longer than the six weeks usually mentioned. Hannah talks about an "early postpartum", but adapting to motherhood can take years.

Sources

What our guests share comes from their own experience and practice. The medical and legal information in this article is based on the sources below. It doesn't replace advice from your care team.

Listen to the full episode

This article is based on episode 8 of Born to be Wild, the podcast: Matrescence, the word that changes everything, with Hannah Staunton. Listen on Spotify.